Nepsis

One of my biggest inner challenges, or thorns in my side, is my daydreaming. Not that all daydreaming is bad, but, rather, that my daydreaming is a sign of a deeper spiritual battle. Most of my daydreams consist of conversations or situations where I end up looking intelligent, kind, spiritual, insightful, etc., and whomever I am with in my daydream is impressed by me. Sometimes I do a decent job shutting down these thoughts before they fully develop, but other times I find it hard to resist the seemingly good feeling I get from having others recognize my good qualities. In Nouwen's book, again, there are some good passages related to my struggle. Since starting my hike, I've been trying to focus on "nepsis - the control of thoughts, mental sobriety, spiritual attention directed to God, watchfulness in keeping bad thoughts away and creating free space for prayer."

I recently decided to chose "Nepsis" as my trail name. Some people come to the trail with a trail name already picked out. Others wait for something to happen, usually silly or stupid, that causes other hikers to give you your trail name. There are many Pop Tarts and Snickers due to people liking certain foods, and a few Supertramps, named after Alexander Supertramp of Into the Wild. There are also deeper names, such as one woman we recently meet who chose the name Unity.When talked with her, her husband mentioned that choosing your own trail name is empowering. I had already been thinking about taking the name Nepsis, but I didn't say anything at the time. A few days later, as Adam and I were eating a free breakfast, thanks to First Baptist of Franklin, he mentioned that maybe I should use Nepsis. Calling myself Nepsis will be a constant reminder to practice the spiritual discipline, and, hopefully, by the time we reach Katahdin, I will resemble Christ just a little bit more.