I keep repeating in my head "I am here. Here is where I want to be." When we first started hiking, it almost didn't seem real. On the second day, I realized that I kept thinking of what was up ahead, and not fully being present where I was at that moment. By repeating those sentences, it forces me to look around and see where I am at, and appreciate the trees and rocks that are right where I am standing. I will probably never see most of those rocks, trees, streams, fungi or moss again. It's a shame to walk right past them without recognizing them for what they are - blessings. Someone once described nature as being the thought of God - God thought it, and it came to be. Nature is so spiritual, yet we walk right by it without acknowledging its spirit.
The second sentence, "Here is where I want to be," is also a good reminder that I really do want to be hiking the AT. Some days are going to be harder than others, but a few days here and there are no reason to get off the trail; indeed, they are all the more reason to stay on the trail! Suffering produces perseverance, and what really is suffering? Walking in the rain? Being cold? No, these physical "trials" are nothing but opportunities for spiritual growth (don't get me wrong, and don't worry mom and dad, we're taking good care of ourselves! I haven't had a single problem with my feet yet and we're into week two! It would be silly to talk about spiritual appreciation of nature while not caring for the bodies God has given us - temples for His spirit). I really hope I remember to be thankful for wherever I am at for the rest of my life! There was another quote in Nouwen's book about accepting where you are because where I am right now is where God wants me to be. I long to always be aware of the presence of God, and this is just one more step to be more conscious.
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